Wednesday, May 26

WHO'S THE "GROWNUP" -- KERRY OR BUSH?

All my adult life I've surprised people when they first get to know me. I don't look like a wild-eyed hippie liberal (I work as an executive of one of the 10 largest publicly held companies in Dallas); I'm the third of four daughters of a career military officer; I'm a happily married wife of more than two decades to my college sweetheart and the mother of our enchanting five children; we moved to Dallas so my husband (The Sage) could attend the largest theological seminary in the world (Southwest Baptist Theological in Fort Worth); most of our family and friends are hide-bound Republicans; and I spent a year of my late teens as a cast member of Up With People. I was a "good girl" all my life, a good Baptist, an almost-straight-A student and class officer in high school and a scholarship student at university, a sorority girl, a beauty pageant winner and (gasp!) an anti-war activist in the early seventies.

I had the best parents and sisters a girl could wish for. They often disagreed with me, but they supported my choices and beliefs because they knew they came from thoughtful, informed deliberation and because my family knew my first priority for decision making was ensuring that whatever I was doing aligned with our Christian faith. My excellent mother did me the honor of being as influenced by my political persuasions as she was by my also-excellent father. I had planned all through my childhood and youth to become a public-interest lawyer, but during my college years I became so agitated about current events that I decided life was too short to be angry and depressed all the time. So I discarded that youthful ambition and dedicated myself to personal growth -- spiritual, intellectual and emotional -- instead.

Lambert, of the super-terrific blog of four -- Corrente -- has questioned whether anyone else is having trouble sleeping at night. Yes, I am. I find myself plunged back into the dark days I experienced during the Vietnam/Nixon years. It may be hard for those younger or for those who conveniently forget the lessons of history to understand how people of conscience can be tormented by events beyond their control. Though I was a Howard Dean adherent, I feel an affinity for John Kerry that only one who has traveled the same corridors of time and experience can feel. We were not rebels as most youths are rebels. We were serious young people who faced serious questions about morality, war, the role of government, tough choices that didn't necessarily align with those of our peers or backgrounds. We were (and are) greater lovers of our country than those who spout rhetoric about "love it or leave it" but have never wrestled with how best to love it. We concluded that true patriots (like good parents vis a vis their children) have enough confidence in our American system to work to amend its wrongs while championing its achievements and taking pride in its glories.

Young people who face the big questions and find their own answers are more likely, I believe, to develop inner strength and become what we like to call "grownups." Contrast that with George W. Bush, who didn't grow up (if he ever did) until nearly forty.

John Kerry, on the other hand, was already a grownup in his twenties. That's a man I can have confidence in, even when (like my family's attitude towards me) I don't always agree with him.

And maybe after November, Lambert and I will be able to sleep better.

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