For Joyce McGreevey of Salon, The Price Is Right: ..."for just $200 billion, America is getting its money's worth of chaos, death and disorder!"

For while the Kerry campaign continues its manic obsession with rectifying our domestic- and foreign-policy crises, Bush has been a steady, focused Man with a Mission Accomplished. And he's done this while also blasting away at the core issues affecting virtually every man, woman and child in the U.S.

Education: While Kerry plans to establish the first ever National Education Fund to ensure that schools always get the funding they need, Bush has proven that he can be relied on in a second term to slash $200 million from Head Start, $11 billion from children with disabilities and $7.2 billion from children in poor communities.

Healthcare: While John Kerry and his ilk would extend affordable healthcare coverage to 95 percent of Americans, including every child, only the Bush administration took the bold step of designating Sept. 21 "Take a Loved One to the Doctor Day," encouraging minorities to "take charge of their health" by making a doctor appointment or attending "a healthcare event." Next up on the Bush calendar: "Treat Yourself to a Dream House Day," "Here, Have Another Job Day," and "Try to Get on the 'Oprah' Show While She's Still Handing Out the Free Pontiacs Day."

The Economy: While John Kerry wants to cut taxes for businesses that create jobs here in America instead of moving them overseas, and John Edwards takes a jobs plan to Ohio, which lost an additional 12,000 jobs last month (bringing its total job losses under George Bush to 173,000), the Bush administration is hard at work reminding us that "Four hundred thousand people make some money trading on eBay" -- which should come as a comfort to the 6 million Americans poised to lose their right to overtime pay.

Meanwhile, Bush keeps racking up one "catastrophic success" after another in Iraq.