MEDICAL ALERT

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new and virulent strain of sexualy transmitted disease.

This disease, which is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior, is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him"). Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past four years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.

Cognitive symptoms of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to: anti-social personality disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor; chronic mangling of the English language; extreme cognitive dissonance; inability to incorporate new information; pronounced xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions; exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado; uncontrolled facial smirking; ignorance of geography and history; tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies; anad a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior.

The disease is sweeping Washington.

Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago in a Texas Bush.

Source unknown, but thanks to Sally.