"THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP IS EVERYTHING"

My husband The Sage just got a call from Chase/Bank One (after 8 p.m.) where the telephone representative advised him to make a payment on our education loan (for one of our kids) over the telephone, in order to avoid a $39 late fee.

"Wait a minute," Sage said. "Our payments are due on the 28th of each month, and we're up to date. Why would we incur a late fee? And why would the late fee be almost equal to the monthly installment?"

"So you won't have to worry about being late," the rep said.

"You're telling me to pay three weeks before the installment is due so I won't have to worry?" Sage countered.

"You wouldn't want us to call the credit agency to report you as being late," the rep went on.

"When, exactly, would you be reporting me late since it's three weeks early?"

"I can't give you that information."

"I think this conversation is over," said Sage as he hung up the phone.