Monday, November 21


Uggabugga has a failsafe plan to end the war in Iraq:

Here's the plan -

Withdraw troops from Iraq as soon as logistically possible. - That will meet with approval by most Americans.

Install Ahmed Chalabi as head of the Iraqi government. - Something the PNAC / AEI / Weekly Standard crowd would love to see.

Pay Haliburton $30 billion to facilitate the transition. - To get Cheney & Co. on board.

Give Fox News Channel, Limbaugh, and Open Source Media* exclusive rights for covering the glorious withdrawal. - That way, the right-wing media will paint a positive picture (and get big ratings).

Have top fashion designers create a fabulous new military outfit for the president to wear throughout this process. - In order to satisfy Bush's uniform fetish.

Send Judy Miller and Bob Woodward to a secret CIA detention facility. - So that we can determine, once and for all, just how effective torture is in extracting information from determined secret-holders. This has nothing to do with an Iraq withdrawal; it's just a crowd-pleaser.

$100 million to Jack Abramoff. - To organize a never-ending series of golfing trips to Scotland and the Marianas, keeping the Republicans away from the House and Senate (and media) until after the '06 elections.

Presidential Medals of Freedom for everybody! - With the proviso that recipients take the Tenet Pledge (to remain silent about all Iraq-related decisions). That should eliminate any remaining opposition.

Put Karen Hughes in charge of a new public awareness campaign. - Slogan: Retreating with Respectability.

* - or whatever they're calling themselves now.


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