Friday, October 13


I may have been too cautious in reporting rumors that the GOP nominee for Florida governor was a closeted gay. The independent candidate is charging the same. As far as I can tell, the Dem candidate has not commented on it.

Now I'm the first to say that being a closeted gay is not a disqualification from office. I sympathize tremendously with any gay who feels (and rightfully so) that the revelation of his/her sexual orientation will handicap their professional career and personal relationships. And in Crist's case, he's actually (cautiously) favored gay civil unions, which is as much as some Democrats have, so that's in his favor. But as long as Republicans are the party of gay-bashing, the party aligned with religious conservatives who think gays are abominations, I think voters deserve to know who their candidates are. If a Democratic candidate was a faithless husband, they'd make it an issue, right? (Yes, they have, repeatedly.)

I have a huge family in Florida (I'm a native, obviously) who totally oppose homosexuality in any way, shape or form. So shouldn't they be informed that the guy they support (and they've said that they are voting for Crist) know his sexual orientation?

This whole gay thing repulses me. I am conflicted, "big-time." Am I, by relaying this information, suggesting that gays should only be Democrats, and if not, are vulnerable to "outing"?

I may delete this post, if my conscience tells me to.


Blogger LiteraryTech said...

Be more specific. What are you conflicted about? I'm not feeling very conflicted.

I am very sympathetic to anyone who remains in the prison of the closet created by being raised by heterosexual parents in a heterosexist world. I am not in favor of "outing" anyone.

Except those who seek to harm me and mine when they are us. Those who act out the pain of their closet through the persecution of others... they lose the right to work out their own issues in peace.

The gay man or lesbian who chooses to align themselves with the Republican party of the early 21st century is fine (conflicted, foolish, etc), but they must do so honestly.

One of the errors of thinking in this area is that revealing one's sexual orientation is a matter of revealing something terribly private. It is not private. If sexuality at this level is private, then it would be a secret if you were married. If you indicate that you are married to The Sage and he went with you to the store, you have just announced that you are heterosexual. Likewise, Crist does not have to describe his favorite sexual position to be honest about who he loves and who his family might be.

If Crist is honest about his sexuality when it comes up naturally, then we can allow him space to not talk about it. Fact is, it doesn't really come up all that often in my life. It would come up less often in conversation if me and mine were not made the topic of conversation by bigots working each other up into a frenzy of fear and loathing. Most of the time I am busy busy busy with work (nothing to do with being gay), family (little to do with being gay), and my interest in political issues (more time talking about issues other than being gay).

So, it isn't necessary for Crist to start every sentence with "Well, as you know, I'm gay. So, about the war in Iraq..." Of course not. Don't be silly. If he is intentionally avoiding the topic in an effort to have many people think he is not who he actually is, this is deception. It is a lie. It is destructive to him and to his communities.

You can be an opening gay Republican. That's fine. Outing cannot happen if you are casually out already. Where it comes up, for either political flavor, is when the individual is hiding.

Perhaps, in a nutshell, one should get honest with self before stepping out in the public eye where we are going to be looking for honesty and shining a spotlight on obvious lies.

Well, I have to go read a story to my eight-year old son (nothing to do with being gay), help my 88-year-old grandfather-in-law to bed (nothing to do with being gay), read a book called Guns, Germs and Steele with my husband (almost nothing to do with being gay) and maybe watch a movie.

8:47 PM  
Blogger Motherlode said...

That's powerful, LitTech, and thank you for clarifying my thinking.

9:12 AM  
Blogger Mr. Wonderful said...

Well the post is still here so obviously your conscience told you that it's okay to be self-righteous homophobe. "This whole gay thing repulses me." What exactly does that mean? I am gay, have lived in a loving, committed relationship with my partner for 20+ years, have the acceptance of friends and family, own a home, work and pay taxes, volunteer time to those in need - how repulsive!

I believe that Mr. Crist is gay and deeply closeted because he's allowed himself to become a pawn for the Republican party. There are many others like him. They crave power and the acceptance of those who are repulsed by them (like your family and friends), thus being used in the process. In positions of power they will do anything to prove to the powers at be that they're NOT GAY.
They vote down motions to give gays and lesbians equal (not "special" as your people would have us believe) rights. They're against gays adopting, even though many already forster young children who, without out the love and support of their gay and/or lesbian foster parents would be out on the street. Gay marriage? NO! It's a "sacred" thing between a man and a woman.
So much for sacred - more than 50% end in divorce. People like yourself are worried that THE GAYS are trying to ruin the sanctity of marriage, believing somehow that if we're allowed the same rights and freedoms as you that your marriages will be affected. Ridiculous! If you were truly worried about preserving the sanctity of marriage you'd outlaw divorce. No? Didn't think so.

Ted Haggard. Larry Craig. Charlie Crist. Ed Koch (many people don't know that he's gay - or really care, but while in power he voted against gays every time). J. Edgar Hoover. So many more. Closeted men in positions of power - all conservative and all desperate to be accepted. There are so many more that it would make your head spin. Gay people - some in the closet, some not - are all around you. Get used to it.

I live in Canada, where we've allowed gay marriage for several years. The apocalyptic collapse of the world that so many of you in the States are predicting if we're allowed to be married simply didn't happen. My partner, having been together for more than twenty years, have chosen not to tie the knot. At this stage in the game it seems like a moot point. We don't need a piece of paper to prove out commitment to one another; not that a marriage certificate proves that anyway. But it's nice to know that we live in a country that allows us the same rights and freedoms as our heterosexual counterparts, and doesn't discriminate against us because we're not straight.

The times are changing, whether or not you or your family like it. It's because of people like yourself that gay men like Crist will stay hidden deeply in the closet, doing anything and everything they can to stay under the radar. But they can't stay hidden forever.

9:10 AM  
Anonymous Bev said...

There is hope for you because you seem to know it is wrong to feel prejudice. We all suffer from this disease but if you keep working on this, you will get the answer you're looking for. it takes time for even Gay people to accept themselves because they are taught they will go to hell if they come out. Parents have disowned their children because of it. I suggest you read the book "Crisis" about Gay teens in America and the discriimination that they face from their churches and families. My church welcomes Gay people and that is refreshing for a Catholic church. Try to love all people and work on your weaknesses. There are many aspects to a human being and you shouldn't havr to think about people's sex lives when you know they are Gay. I mean none of us wants to think about even our parents having sex. The reason why I'm writing this is because to me you are not hopeless. I sense decency in your thoughts and words. Please pray for guideance from God, he will show you the right way as he did with me.

Take good care,


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